A stand towards life

Something is waiting for me out there. I have this feeling that either its coming towards me or I am moving closer to it. What is this thing? Is it something I want? No, it is something that destiny is keeping away from me. Or is it something that will happen because of the interaction of different events I experiencing? I can't really tell. But I know that I want get to this thing.

The question is, shall I seek this unknown? Its not an ordinary unknown, it is something unique that will or will not affect me. Is it a search for identity? Nah. I don't think so. It is not time to find the real me. I am not seeking it right now. Also it is not something that I am looking inside myself. So it is not an exact unknown since I know that I am not looking for it in myself. Then what is it? Could it be a new adventure that I seek? I am too lazy for adventures. My last intellectual encounter is tiring me to the extent that I want to take a break. If it is something I want, I shall be working for it yet in many cases I don't do my best in it. No it is not about academic achievement, or is it? Nah. May be it is that desire to go into an ferocious erupting volcano just for fun?

Sometimes this feeling feels familiar. Maybe it coincides with the World Cup? (Smile) I got to be kidding myself. I know it. I know what is this feeling about. It is about my destiny. I am repeating myself here. It is destiny that is hiding this thing from me. But this thing is about my destiny. The answer could lie within my future or is it the future?

Do I have to wander randomly in life? This is not nonsense that I am writing. I am writing this for myself. No one is ought to understand what I am writing. I will refer back to this post sometime later.